I recently came across your article titled “Welcome to Anxietyland: I used alcohol to hide my fear – but booze became a very bad friend,” published on May 3rd. As someone currently navigating similar challenges, I found it particularly relatable.

At 37 years old, I have spent the last few weeks away from work due to burnout and depression. Like Gemma, I discovered that alcohol provided temporary relief from my struggles. However, that relief proved to be fleeting.

The article effectively highlights the allure of alcohol, illustrating how it can offer solace for a brief period. What it fails to address, however, is the toll it takes. For me, that toll manifested in self-harm during those nights when drinking no longer dulled my emotions, making them overwhelming. It took time for me to recognize the connection between my drinking and the intensifying dark moments; the alcohol deepened my despair, and in turn, those feelings drove me to drink more.

I have not completely abandoned alcohol, but I have made significant changes. I no longer drink in solitude or use it as a means to numb my feelings. One morning, I decided to pour out every bottle I owned, resolving that if I had to confront discomfort, I would do so with clarity.

This decision may seem straightforward, yet it is far from easy. Emotions that have been suppressed for years do not surface gently; they crash in unexpectedly, especially during solitary nights when there is no distraction. These feelings can be overwhelming, frightening, and painfully real.

However, I am discovering that confronting these emotions is the only path forward. It is not about avoiding them or masking them with substances that promise to quiet them. It is about facing them directly. While this journey is challenging, it is also gradually liberating.

Gemma mentions that quitting alcohol did not resolve all her issues, and I can relate. Altering my relationship with alcohol has not magically solved my problems either. Yet, it has prompted a crucial change: I have paused long enough to reflect on what I have been trying to escape. While this does not represent a solution, it certainly feels like the start of a new chapter.

Paula McInally
Wolverhampton

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