Women who have faced the heartbreak of pregnancy loss are coming together to share their experiences at an annual Mother’s Day high tea organized by the charity Bears of Hope. Each year, approximately 2,300 babies in Australia do not survive childbirth, and this event provides mothers with a supportive environment to openly discuss and mourn their losses.
Participants of the event express that it has played a crucial role in breaking down the stigma surrounding conversations about infant loss. Jessica Rogers recalls the painful memory of leaving the hospital without her newborn daughter, Willow, who was stillborn at 24 weeks due to a lung tumor affecting her heart.
“The moment was overwhelming; it felt like a blur filled with so many emotions—just devastation,” Ms. Rogers shared. “We had a precious 24 hours with her to hold her, name her, and allow our family to grieve together.”
That experience took place in 2017 when Ms. Rogers’s eldest child was just four years old. Nearly ten years later, as a mother of three, she emphasizes the importance of talking about Willow to navigate her grief. She is looking forward to participating in the Mother’s Day high tea in Laurieton, New South Wales, which is one of 18 such events held nationwide on May 9, the day before Mother’s Day.
The high tea aims to create a nurturing space for bereaved mothers, who often feel isolated in their sorrow. Attendees have their baby’s names displayed on place cards, and they receive a keepsake gift to honor their child.
“This event fosters community connections,” Ms. Rogers said. “It provides me with a sense of belonging, allowing me to express my grief without fear of being judged.”
Abby Dante from Bears of Hope, who is organizing the Laurieton gathering, noted that the event facilitates important discussions about pregnancy loss. “It raises awareness about how common these experiences are, which many people may not realize,” she stated. “We acknowledge that all mothers are mothers, whether they are physically holding their babies or not.”
According to Red Nose Australia, about one in four confirmed pregnancies ends in miscarriage or early pregnancy loss. With around 300,000 births in Australia each year, this means roughly 2,300 babies do not survive.
Jennifer Thomas, who coordinates fundraising and events for Bears of Hope, became involved after her first son, Bailey, was stillborn 17 years ago. She has witnessed the event grow significantly since its inception 15 years ago.
“There’s an emotional void for mothers after losing a baby,” Ms. Thomas explained. “This event caters to those who may not be recognized as mothers on Mother’s Day. We have parents who have attended for over a decade, and this is their chance to be acknowledged as their baby’s mother.”
She also highlighted the attendance of women from older generations who were not afforded the opportunity to grieve openly. “These women were often told to simply try again, and now they are finally being recognized,” Ms. Thomas added.
Fanoula Anasta, who began coordinating a Bears of Hope high tea in Brunswick four years ago, has noticed many older attendees. After losing her baby Luke during preterm labor at Frances Perry House in Melbourne in 2021, she found solace in the support of Bears of Hope while raising her two other children.
“Some attendees are in their 60s and 70s, expressing gratitude for the opportunity to discuss their losses,” Ms. Anasta recounted. “In my Greek culture, talking about such losses was taboo; we were taught to move on without acknowledgment.”
Ms. Anasta has actively fundraised for Bears of Hope and shared that the high tea events have fostered lasting friendships. Each time she speaks at the event, she finds herself emotional. “Grief doesn’t necessarily get easier; it changes,” she reflected. “I have found healing through the connections with these women. It’s a beautiful afternoon where we share our stories and honor the memories of our beloved babies.”
