By Sally Davis, narrated to Kellie Scott
Upon receiving a diagnosis of a rare type of ovarian cancer, Sally Davis was presented with two distinct choices by her surgeon. She could opt for a procedure that would preserve her uterus, allowing her to pursue her dreams of in vitro fertilization (IVF), albeit with significant risks to her health. Alternatively, she could undergo surgery that would save her life but eliminate her chance to carry a child.
Sally, a 38-year-old from Candelo and a former Matildas star known as Sally Shipard, expressed, “April [her partner] and I are sensitive to the term ‘choice.’” She shared that it had always been her aspiration to bear a child and start a family. However, in that pivotal moment with her surgeon, she decisively chose the safer option.
Undergoing surgery in 2023, Sally acknowledges that the sorrow of losing the opportunity to conceive is a burden she will carry indefinitely. Nevertheless, she is gradually finding solace in the unique life she is building alongside April.
Sally reflected on her longstanding desire to carry a child, stating, “I’ve always envisioned myself pregnant.” Although she did not have a specific timeline in mind, her relationship with April prompted deeper discussions about starting a family. April has consistently expressed a preference not to carry a child, which provided clarity as they began exploring IVF options.
During a routine medical examination in 2020, an unusual growth on Sally’s right ovary was discovered, identified as borderline cancer. Concerned about the potential for similar issues with her other ovary, thoughts of starting a family took a backseat as they settled into their new home in Candelo.
Regular check-ups revealed no immediate concerns until a general practitioner identified elevated tumor markers, leading to urgent medical action. A subsequent biopsy confirmed that Sally had mucinous adenocarcinoma, a specific type of cancer that had spread to the peritoneum, which lines abdominal organs. The diagnosis was both shocking and disorienting, but it also brought a sense of relief after months of uncertainty.
Faced with the reality of possibly never being able to carry a child, Sally had to confront her grief while preparing for the physical challenges ahead. She decided to proceed with the removal of her uterus, which led to her entering surgical menopause at the age of 36.
As an athlete, Sally approached her recovery as a physical challenge she was prepared to tackle. She noted, “Recovery felt like some weird physical challenge, and being an athlete of many years, that felt doable.” However, she found herself unprepared for the emotional toll that grief would take, particularly on Sundays, a day that became especially difficult for her as she watched others with their children.
Throughout the week, Sally stays occupied with work and activities, but the weekends serve as a poignant reminder of her loss. While she admires those who parent, she also grapples with feelings of envy. She is open to exploring alternative paths to parenthood but is committed to allowing herself the space to grieve the loss of her own child.
Sally shared her belief that as she ages, she might find some relief from her grief, similar to how she coped with the end of her sports career due to a chronic injury. She trusts that as time passes, she and April will continue to create a fulfilling life together.
Time has proven to be a valuable ally in her healing journey. Sally appreciates the support of her siblings, who have been mindful and considerate of her feelings, especially when she interacts with their children. April has been a vital source of support, accompanying her to every medical appointment and providing emotional comfort throughout her cancer journey.
Therapy has become an essential part of Sally’s life, allowing her to process her grief rather than resist it. Additionally, she and April have taken up surfing, which has been a transformative experience for them both as they embark on new adventures together as adults.
As they embrace their unconventional life without children, Sally is learning to become more comfortable with their situation and aims to own their choices, rather than conform to societal expectations.
