In a perhaps unnecessary effort to debunk myths, a psychologist has asserted that conversing with oneself can be a beneficial indicator of one’s psychological well-being. Violeta Acedo shared with Hello! magazine that self-talk can enhance concentration, emotional health, and decision-making skills. While this behavior might seem quirky to some, it does not signify any underlying mental health issues. This perspective struck me as peculiar; I have always presumed that self-talk is a common practice, and I would find it hard to trust someone who doesn’t engage in it. Even before I learned about the scientific support for this habit, I was ready to defend it fervently, contemplating how I might articulate my final thoughts while navigating through various scenarios in my mind.
It’s important to distinguish this from talking to pets or plants, as those interactions involve other living beings and fall into the realm of typical conversation. Speaking to plants can actually promote their growth, and acknowledging animals we encounter is simply courteous. Here, we’re focused on the act of engaging in dialogue with oneself, confidently and audibly.
This self-dialogue might take the form of reminders, inquiries, motivational speeches, or even painful truths that would be difficult to hear from someone else. It can also serve as a distraction during mundane moments or provide an opportunity to share a joke with oneself that would have been funnier if heard by another. All these instances contribute to the broader practice of self-talk.
Acedo notes that engaging in self-conversation can serve as a mechanism for reflection, organization, or emotional regulation. While she mentions that those who self-talk aren’t necessarily more intelligent, it can be a valuable strategy for improving overall functioning, which I find quite acceptable.
She elaborates on the advantages of self-talk, such as how vocalizing phrases like “First, I will do this, then that,” or “Where are my keys?” can help clarify priorities and objectives. Skeptics may dismiss this as mere pseudoscience, but research indicates that vocalizing the name of an item one is searching for can enhance the likelihood of finding it by focusing mental attention.
Studies suggest that engaging in a personal dialogue can lead to better decision-making as it allows individuals to gain new insights from articulating their thoughts and evaluating them differently.
However, the most surprising revelation is that many individuals do not engage in self-talk. This is almost as shocking as discovering that some people lack an internal monologue, instead experiencing only silence or the sound of ocean waves through a seashell. What do these quiet individuals do when alone? Do they simply carry on in serene solitude? If they wish to contemplate a theory or strategize, they must wait until they can discuss it with someone else, missing out on the spontaneity of self-exploration. There is a unique freedom in expressing thoughts aloud; even if an idea turns out to be absurd, it remains confidential and can be easily discarded without further consequence.
The fundamental principle of self-talk mirrors that of communication with others: it should be conducted with kindness. This is a significant distinction between internal dialogue and external expression. When one makes a mistake internally, it is easy to dismiss it with an exasperated “Ugh, you idiot,” but hearing it spoken can make it more challenging to overlook how one treats oneself.
Acedo recommends that we should “speak to ourselves with the same compassion we would extend to a friend,” offering similar encouragement. She references studies showing that addressing oneself by name—such as, “Don’t worry, [insert name here], you can do this!”—can facilitate clearer analysis of situations. However, I must disagree. While engaging in self-talk is certainly acceptable, there are boundaries. One may be an eccentric self-talker, but there’s no need to emulate figures like Donald Trump or Elmo from Sesame Street. If one finds themselves going that far, it may be time for a serious self-reflection.
Polly Hudson is a freelance writer.
