“As a child, I felt completely alone,” reflects Billy Kenny, his eyes filled with emotion on a September day in Liverpool. “I harbor resentment towards Everton for not supporting me during my struggles.”
“I acknowledge my own faults,” he continues. “I’ve had my share of missteps, but there are others whose actions contributed to my downfall. At 53, I still carry this bitterness and frustration. It’s a tragic loss of potential.”
Once regarded as one of England’s most talented young footballers, Kenny attracted the attention of legendary figures such as Alex Ferguson from Manchester United, Kenny Dalglish from Liverpool, and Howard Kendall from Everton. Ultimately, he decided to join Everton, where he showcased his remarkable abilities, particularly during a standout match against Liverpool at Goodison Park in December 1992.
His teammate, Peter Beardsley, eerily dubbed him “the Goodison Gazza,” a nickname that foreshadowed his tumultuous journey. Kenny made a solitary appearance for England’s under-21s in March 1993, but his decline mirrors the struggles of fellow footballer Paul Gascoigne.
Following his most impressive performance, Kenny fell into the grip of cocaine addiction shortly after turning 19. His dependency escalated rapidly, leading him to retire from professional football just two years later. Over his career, he played 23 matches for Everton, along with four for Oldham and two for Barrow, before battling addiction for many years, which eventually landed him in prison.
“I’m sober now,” he shares. “Since my mother passed away 15 years ago, I’ve stayed away from alcohol and drugs.” Looking up, he adds, “Today is my mother’s birthday. I quit drugs on the day of her funeral, and her memory has empowered me to maintain my sobriety. I wish I had done it while she was still alive, and that regret is heavy on my heart.”
Kenny becomes emotional during our conversation but expresses his story with a powerful honesty. His love for Everton now feels like a haunting presence. “I became a product of Howard Kendall’s environment,” he explains. “For years, I blamed myself, but there was no support available.”
He recalls Michael Branch, another former Everton player who also faced incarceration. “I spoke with Michael last year, and he mentioned that at Finch Farm [Everton’s training facility], there are 17 people available to discuss mental health issues related to substance abuse, family problems, or relationships. I had no one.”
Kenny reflects on how different his life might have been had he been a young talent in today’s football landscape. “If I were playing now, I wouldn’t be recounting tales of despair. I would be celebrating triumphs with Everton. It feels like my opportunities were taken from me, and the fans were robbed of my contributions.”
His poignant new book, co-authored with Jamie Fahey from The Guardian, who shares his Liverpool upbringing, provides a sobering glimpse into a time in English football marked by substance abuse among young players. The story revolves around the complex figure of Kendall, who was a significant influence on Kenny’s life.
Initially, Kenny had a strong aversion to alcohol: “I hated it. My father never touched drugs but would enjoy a couple of pints on Saturday nights. He would come to tell me how well I played for the Everton reserves, and I would have to send him away because I couldn’t stand the smell of beer.”
In his book, Kenny notes that “it seemed as though the majority of the first-team squad lived for alcohol.” He recounts how, during away games, the first item loaded onto the team coach would be crates of lager and chablis for Kendall. On one of his early trips to London, he wasn’t drinking. “On the return trip to Liverpool, I sat in the front with Colin Harvey, the assistant manager, who genuinely cared about me. While they drank in the back, we discussed football.”
In January 1993, during a match against Wimbledon, Kenny performed admirably, despite injuring his ankle. He recalls, “Kendall praised my performance and mentioned how disappointed the team would be if I missed out on the post-match celebrations. He suggested I could ice my ankle at the restaurant. His final remark was, ‘You’ll feel much better after a few drinks…’”
