This year, on International Women’s Day, I found myself at Selfridges, listening to my wife Geetie share her diverse experiences as a childhood communard, mother, restaurateur, environmental advocate, and, importantly, as a woman. Among the audience, I was one of only two men present. One might question what prompted a 65-year-old male farmer to attend such an event. However, I argue that since many topics discussed on this day are relevant to male conduct, it is essential for men to engage with these issues just as much as women do. Furthermore, from a practical standpoint, having too many men acting in a stereotypically masculine manner doesn’t contribute to getting the strawberries picked.
In agriculture, success hinges on the ability to forge and nurture relationships, a principle that applies to most industries. When we first assessed our gender pay gap at Riverford in 2017, we discovered that women earned approximately 91 pence for every pound their male counterparts made. Initially, we offered excuses and made minimal changes, as many of the male leaders were hesitant to confront their implicit biases. However, my own farm, Baddaford, has become more enjoyable, productive, and profitable since my male head grower and I appointed our most skilled picker—a woman significantly younger than us—to oversee the picking process and manage our team.
Today, our farm is likely one of the few vegetable operations with a waiting list for pickers, a testament to the positive work environment created by our farm manager, Maddie, who has championed change and made our workplace enjoyable, emotionally secure, and fulfilling. Like many men of my generation who consider themselves enlightened, I would resist being labeled as sexist. Yet, if we do not actively challenge prejudice when we encounter it, we might as well be complicit. It has been gratifying, both personally and professionally, to witness Maddie’s success and her ability to uplift those around her.
This raises important questions: Why did it require a woman and a newcomer to our traditionally male-dominated industry to instigate such change? Why is it that I often find myself discussing sensitive topics with women? In many empty-nest households, why do fathers frequently pass the phone to their wives when children call, following awkward attempts at conversation? Additionally, why do so many elderly men in the UK report feelings of loneliness—75% of older men without partners do so—and why are they less inclined to seek connection?
Many older men tend to view their roles as primarily providers and protectors, and while some have fulfilled these roles adequately, this perception is outdated. It does not facilitate fulfilling lives nor does it earn the validation and respect that many of us desire, a remnant of paternal expectations that can be detrimental.
At Riverford, the company I established in 1986, we began to undergo a cultural transformation with our shift to employee ownership in 2018. This transition required deep introspection and a careful reassessment of decision-making processes and leadership structures. We engaged a business change coach who, in collaboration with our head of HR over three years, successfully fostered a genuinely inclusive workplace culture. The transformation initiated with my willingness to change, and I am immensely grateful to the women who had the courage to challenge me and guide me toward personal growth.
By 2025, we had not only closed our gender pay gap but reversed it—women at Riverford now earn, on average, 1.56% more per hour than men, largely due to women occupying many senior positions. However, the journey toward equality continues, led by our co-owner council, which advocates for diversity and inclusion.
Historically, our leadership, which had too few women and too many men, resulted in decisions that lacked breadth, hindering our business’s growth. Yet, we have learned that change is possible. Men can embrace their emotional sides, even in professional settings. Emotional intelligence—characterized by kindness, openness, empathy, and compassion—is a strength rather than a weakness. Successful businesses increasingly recognize the importance of our emotional nature in building relationships with customers, colleagues, and suppliers.
At 65, I regret the years spent confined by a narrow definition of masculinity, whether in the workplace, at home, or socially. This is a self-imposed tragedy. The solution lies in shedding the restrictive and harmful beliefs about masculinity, expanding our horizons, learning to communicate effectively, and supporting each other as well as the women in our lives. Ultimately, inclusivity serves the interests of everyone involved.
I no longer wish to lead a life limited by outdated male stereotypes, nor do I want to impose these beliefs on my children or colleagues. Men must not remain passive or awkward when witnessing sexist behavior from other men. We can strive for a higher standard than that set by previous generations.
Living an unexamined life, defined by societal expectations of being a “protector and provider,” equates to living only partially. We must show courage and progress beyond stereotypes, just as countless women have done.
Guy Singh-Watson is the founder of the organic vegetable box company Riverford.
