Roberto De Zerbi expressed regret during his initial interview as Tottenham Hotspur’s head coach regarding previous remarks about Mason Greenwood, who was under his management at Marseille. His comments have drawn criticism from various Spurs supporter groups, including Proud Lilywhites and Women of the Lane, which I helped establish. De Zerbi clarified that he never intended to minimize the issue of male violence against women. (It is noted that Greenwood denied allegations of attempted rape, controlling behavior, and assault in 2022, with the case subsequently being dropped.)
His willingness to address the issue is significant, as the absence of commentary from influential men regarding such serious matters can perpetuate the problem. It is preferable to see someone engage in dialogue rather than withdraw. However, De Zerbi’s response seemed more reflective than accountable, which is insufficient in this context.
The discourse surrounding De Zerbi and Greenwood has been beneficial in re-focusing attention on the issue of male violence against women within the football community, prompting deeper inquiries about why many men either fail to recognize harmful behaviors or choose to remain silent. For meaningful change to occur, we must confront these realities honestly.
Research consistently indicates that male perpetrators of sexual and domestic violence often deflect blame. A 2024 study published in Trauma, Violence, & Abuse examined qualitative findings on male offenders over four decades and revealed that those guilty of serious harm seldom identify as such. Instead, they attribute blame to the victim, alcohol, situational factors, or other external circumstances, resisting labels like “rapist” or “abuser” that contradict their self-image as decent individuals.
This tendency to defend known individuals—often with the assertion “I know him, he’s a good person”—illustrates a common but inadequate reaction. Most perpetrators are not faceless monsters; they are acquaintances, friends, or admired figures. Consequently, character references, no matter how well-intentioned, fail to address the core issues at hand. The relevant question is not who they are in other contexts but the behaviors they engage in.
Violence against women does not occur in a vacuum; it is influenced by prevailing societal norms that dictate what behaviors are recognized or dismissed. The World Health Organization, along with decades of scholarly research on gender and masculinity, consistently points to these societal norms as the fundamental cause, rather than individual pathology. As researcher Michael Flood emphasizes, violence against women is not merely an issue of bad individuals; it is perpetuated by cultural attitudes that normalize such conduct.
Although the majority of men are not violent, studies reveal that men are disproportionately more likely than women to find sexist remarks, jokes, or banter acceptable. This acceptance gap is significant, as it contributes to considerable harm.
Football is not exempt from these dynamics. The locker room culture is not neutral. Research in professional sports environments, including studies from the Australian Football League and the UK through the Football Onside initiative at the University of Exeter, indicates that strong group dynamics can discourage men from speaking out, often due to fears of being perceived as weak or disloyal. The pressure to conform to group norms can be intense, even when those norms are not as widely accepted as believed.
This reality is difficult to articulate but essential to acknowledge. Coercive control, which is legally recognized in England and Wales, often includes actions that the perpetrator does not see as abusive—such as pressuring a partner, monitoring their activities, or isolating them from their social circle. Many men may engage in such behaviors without realizing their harmful nature, having never been educated to recognize them as abusive.
In this context, De Zerbi’s comments serve as a pertinent example. He expressed that he has always supported vulnerable individuals and claimed to fight for those at risk. While it is important for men in positions of authority to speak out, his response did not fully meet the demands of the situation.
True accountability requires three essential components: acknowledging the inappropriateness of previous statements—not just their emotional impact but their broader implications; recognizing that the consequences of one’s words exist independently of intent; and clearly stating, without reservations, that such comments will not be repeated.
Instead, De Zerbi offered a self-referential account. While his sincerity is not in question, he failed to adequately address the substance of his earlier remarks or the reasons they were problematic. Research on perpetration and normalization suggests that many men do not grasp the impact of their words or actions due to cultural conditioning that has not prepared them to see it. This does not imply that De Zerbi is incapable of learning or change; rather, genuine accountability and acknowledgment of one’s mistakes are crucial for growth.
Highlighting these shortcomings is not about placing blame but about fostering an honest dialogue about what constitutes positive behavior, as this is essential for encouraging more of it.
If De Zerbi had made similar comments in any other sector, they might have gone unnoticed. However, the world of football is unique in its reach, influencing communities and households like few other fields.
The actions and statements of players, managers, and clubs significantly shape societal attitudes, particularly among young men. Research consistently supports the notion that men are more likely to change their behavior when they see influential figures publicly addressing and challenging problematic conduct.
