Returning to one’s hometown after spending years overseas can evoke feelings of strangeness and unease. After a decade in the United States, I find myself back in London, reflecting on how much I miss the warm demeanor of New Yorkers. This journey home has revealed a reverse culture shock, as I now perceive a familiar city through a new perspective.
In my experience, there is often a pull that brings you back home eventually. You find yourself yearning for the familiar structures, the ease of daily life, the diversity, and most importantly, the people. It’s not just about close friends and family; it’s the everyday encounters too—the shopkeepers who respect your space, commuters who avoid eye contact, and dining experiences where the gratuity is already included, relieving you from the stress of calculating tips.
Having spent time in Brooklyn, I can relate to the openness described by Bim Adewunmi regarding New Yorkers and their sociability. There is a certain ease in social interactions there. However, I would like to contest the idea that Londoners are unfriendly. I was taken aback to hear that no one assisted her with her stroller on the tube, as I remember that kind of help being offered without hesitation. Although, it’s true that Londoners might leave you to manage your luggage on your own.
London is not a city known for light-hearted banter or casual interactions, and I appreciate the subtle ways Londoners show their consideration, which I learned to value after experiencing genuine indifference in other places. There exists a different form of social connection here—an understanding glance, a shared sigh when faced with a common inconvenience. Perhaps I am idealizing my own city, but I believe there remains a quiet sense of community to be discovered.
I have spent 38 years living and working across various countries, with my experiences of neighborliness ranging from remarkable warmth and kindness during my two-year stay in Siberia at the end of the Soviet era, to two challenging years in Hungary, and a Christmas spent entirely alone while in Croatia.
Since returning to the UK over five years ago, I now reside in north London, where I enjoy the friendliest neighbors imaginable. During my walks in the neighborhood, I frequently encounter smiling faces of strangers, many of whom are eager to strike up a conversation. Is my experience in north London so different from Bim’s in south London?
I feel a sense of sympathy for Bim Adewunmi. Perhaps she should venture further north, to places like Newcastle upon Tyne, where she might find an abundance of smiles and interactions.
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