Marti Winkworth and his partner Kate have always faced life’s challenges side by side. When Kate noticed that Marti was unhappy in his identity as a man, she encouraged him to embrace the change he needed.
This narrative is part of our Love Stories series, which explores various facets of love, including romantic and platonic relationships, as well as moments filled with heartbreak and surprise.
In 2006, Marti’s mother suggested he try online dating to help him move forward after a difficult period. She proceeded to create a dating profile for him, which eventually led to a date with Kate in their native UK.
From the early stages of their relationship, Kate sensed that Marti was different. She was drawn to his gentle demeanor, which she found appealing. He often expressed sentiments that diverged from traditional masculinity. For instance, he would surprise her with thoughtful gifts, such as a complete outfit that included matching shoes, lipstick, and accessories, rather than just a dress.
Marti frequently remarked on how fortunate women were to wear beautiful clothing, a perspective not commonly held by men. To explore her curiosity further, Kate once playfully suggested that Marti try on a ball gown she had hidden away. To her delight, he enthusiastically accepted, showcasing a joyful side of him.
Marti recalled that he first recognized his identity at the age of six when his sister dressed him up. However, it was not until he was in his mid-teens that he saw a newspaper article about a man transitioning to a woman, which sparked a realization about his own desires. During the early 1980s, societal acceptance was minimal, and he felt compelled to suppress his feelings for many years while pursuing a conventional life, including a career in rugby and joining the British Army.
In 2009, the couple visited Australia to explore potential living arrangements. During this trip, Marti planned a surprise proposal for Kate with the help of a friend. They enjoyed a hot air balloon ride at dawn, where Marti revealed the engagement ring, illuminating Kate’s face with joy.
The couple’s wedding was a personal affair, held in their backyard with a quintessential English afternoon tea theme, attended by family and friends. They had two groomsmen and five bridesmaids, creating a warm and intimate atmosphere.
In 2010, they relocated to Australia, seeking a better lifestyle for their future family. Despite facing challenges related to Kate’s undiagnosed Hashimoto’s disease, they hoped to conceive but struggled for some time. Throughout this period, Kate became increasingly aware of Marti’s unhappiness and recognized that he needed to transition. Although it was a difficult decision, she encouraged him to pursue this path for the sake of his happiness.
With Marti’s transition, Kate suggested they freeze sperm for future use, which brought a sense of relief to Marti. After receiving medical assistance, Kate was eventually able to conceive after 18 months. Remarkably, Marti officially changed his gender just weeks before the birth of their child. Following this change, Marti seemed revitalized, exuding happiness and contentment.
Kate emphasized that the journey was a shared one rather than solely Marti’s. Her acceptance and support played a crucial role in his transformation, and she believed that had she opposed the change, Marti would not have gone through with it. Their love remained steadfast, unaffected by the changes in Marti’s identity.
