On their first day of high school, Debra Adelaide and Gabrielle Carey encountered an unexpected challenge: they both missed the bus home. During their lengthy and unfamiliar trek, they engaged in discussions about literature, discovering a shared bond as the only students in their English class who had read the assigned texts prior to the start of the term.
“We were seeking comfort in each other, and our friendship deepened through our mutual love for reading,” Adelaide shared in an interview with ABC Radio National’s The Book Show.
At their typical suburban high school, athletic pursuits dominated, and both girls were considered “definitely not athletic.” As Adelaide recounted, “We felt like outsiders, viewed as peculiar because we preferred reading a book over participating in sports.” This inclination toward literature ultimately paved the way for their careers as writers.
Fast forward fifty years, Adelaide has authored 18 books, including the acclaimed 2008 novel, The Household Guide to Dying, and is currently a creative writing instructor at the University of Technology Sydney. Meanwhile, Carey’s debut novel, Puberty Blues, co-written with Kathy Lette, gained significant attention upon its release in 1979, when Carey was just 19. This novel humorously critiqued the misogynistic surf culture of the 1970s.
Carey continued to write prolifically, producing works such as In My Father’s House, a memoir reflecting on her father’s suicide in 1987. She struggled with depression, a condition she shared with her father, and his passing had a profound impact on her life.
In a 2022 interview with the Sydney Morning Herald, Carey expressed her anxiety about reaching the age of 64, the same age at which her father passed away. “If I have inherited his tendency toward depression, does that mean I will also face an early demise?” she pondered.
As Carey’s mental health declined during her sixties, Adelaide, along with many others, provided her with support. Tragically, Carey took her own life in May 2023, also at the age of 64. This loss is poignantly captured in Adelaide’s new book, When I Am Sixty-Four.
Carey was raised in a progressive household rich with books and intellectual discussions. Adelaide noted, “Her upbringing was radical compared to those of her peers, promoting forward-thinking ideas.” In contrast, Adelaide’s more traditional family deemed anything resembling culture as suspicious or pretentious.
Describing Carey, Adelaide said, “She was bold, vibrant, and resolute. Compared to me, she was fully developed, confident, and daring, engaging in pursuits my conservative parents would never have approved of.” Adelaide felt distanced from the surf culture that Carey and Lette enjoyed, stating, “I never participated in that beach lifestyle. I preferred to read, and the beach wasn’t conducive to that.” When Puberty Blues was first released, Adelaide found it difficult to read but later recognized its literary merit and the important commentary it provided on the treatment of teenage girls in the early 1970s.
When I Am Sixty-Four is structured as a collection of vignettes that blur the perception of time, providing insights into both Carey’s life and the essence of their friendship. Adelaide remarked, “Losing Gabrielle felt akin to losing a family member. Our connection was so deep that even months of silence between us felt natural; we could easily reconnect as if no time had passed.”
Professionally, the two shared a close relationship, with Adelaide editing Carey’s works, including In My Father’s House and The Borrowed Girl. However, they generally kept their writing endeavors private, rarely discussing their individual projects. “It wasn’t our style to share drafts with each other since we were both accustomed to working independently,” Adelaide explained.
As Carey’s health deteriorated, Adelaide assisted her friend with practical tasks and accompanied her on walks. In When I Am Sixty-Four, Adelaide evokes the memories of these strolls through parks and neighborhood streets, where they observed the changing seasons and local wildlife together. “She believed that walking would lift her spirits, though only temporarily,” Adelaide noted.
Ultimately, Carey battled the same anxieties that haunted her father in his final years, showcasing the tragic generational struggles with mental health.
