A long-standing friendship of three decades is being tested by an imbalance in communication preferences. One friend frequently shares social media posts and videos that the other finds either unamusing or unsettling. Residing at a distance and communicating primarily through a messaging app, the individual has expressed a desire for more uplifting or adorable content, steering clear of discussions related to American politics.
The friend, facing personal challenges, appears to rely heavily on social media for entertainment. Recently, she inundated her friend with daily videos that failed to capture her interest, including one featuring women physically confronting each other. Additionally, she often entertains conspiracy theories, which the friend feels compelled to debunk. This behavior has left her feeling distressed, as it seems her preferences are disregarded. Despite her silence in response to these messages, they continue to flow from her friend.
Although she values the friendship, the individual senses a divergence in their paths over the years. She does not hold her friend accountable for this shift but feels that her feelings are not taken into account. She is now seeking advice on how to address the situation.
Eleanor suggests that many can relate to the experience of watching someone become engrossed in the superficiality of social media, where the content shared lacks a genuine connection or purpose. It often seems that the messages sent are not tailored to the recipient but are simply a form of mindless sharing, transforming a friendship into a one-sided broadcast.
Since her previous attempts to communicate her preferences have not yielded results, Eleanor proposes a different approach. Instead of framing the issue as a significant problem within their friendship, she could express her bewilderment regarding the content being shared. This could help to signal that she finds the situation unusual rather than distressing.
Drawing on philosopher Harry Frankfurt’s ideas, Eleanor distinguishes between lies and indifference to truth, labeling the latter as “bullshit.” In this context, much of the content circulating on social media is not just incorrect but lacks any meaningful connection to truth altogether. This realization may explain why individuals consuming such content can easily move on from it; the next post is always just around the corner, and the previous one is quickly forgotten.
If her friend’s sharing resembles this indifferent behavior, the friend might have better luck approaching the content with curiosity rather than disapproval. Instead of expressing a desire to maintain closeness through solemn discussions, she could adopt a tone of playful confusion, asking, “What is this?”
People consumed by social media often fail to recognize that their experiences are not universally shared. The platform encourages a belief that everyone resonates with the same visual language and attitudes. Given that previous strategies have not worked effectively, she might find that adopting the stance of an intrigued outsider could foster better communication. By treating the content as trivial, she may facilitate a more engaging dialogue.
